July 10, 2017

Eyes On Me

In today's reality, I often find myself pretending I'm somewhere else. Someone else. Something else. I'm proud, pretty and perfect. Back to reality, I'm constantly screwing up in a world that grows more hateful each day. Back to Dreamland and I'm gorgeous, graceful and glamorous. Back to reality, I'm sitting in my office with the door locked, sobbing into my keyboard, wondering what the fuck am I doing with my life. Back to Dreamland and men are knocking down that locked door to sweep me off my feet and take me far away from here. Back to reality, I'm so numb to the world that I can't even remember how I got home. Back to Dreamland and I hear people calling my name, reaching out to grab my hand, asking to take a picture with them, to sign autographs, flashes of light ... Back to reality, people are calling my name as they break down the door while I slowly slip further and further into the tub. Back to Dreamland, the red carpet has been rolled out, a sash on each arm, all eyes on me. Back to reality, floating in a sea of red, with a slash on each arm ... all eyes on me. Flashes of light, then -- 

January 26, 2017

All tht Shizz urt Mah Brainzzzz

But I Used Glitter ... ?

And I Want to Line Up Everyone and BITCH SLAP them

We Don't.


When you work in Healthcare, 
you see things that you wish you didn't
You see someone go from healthy to sick
Strong to weak
There to not there
And it seems to happen in the blink of an eye

Watching your loved one(s) slip slowly into oblivion is not something I'd wish on my own worst enemy

Becoming an adult is both good and bad
There's growing up, which is followed by (not in any certain order), getting your first kiss, driving, going from your first underpaid job to hopefully a better paying job, traveling the world, meeting Mr or Mrs Right, getting married, starting a family, buying a house, getting a pet, sending your kids to school/college, becoming grandparents, watching your children grow up and growing old with someone, hopefully having all of your hopes, goals and dreams come true before your time is up.

That's the good

The bad ...

Having to say goodbye to people you know, you like, you love
And these goodbyes happen much earlier than you'd like
We may say we're prepared
But how does one really prepare themselves for such an earth shattering event?
Going through hardships, losing faith, losing friends, falling out of love, discovering you found Mr or Mrs Wrong

Getting even older
There's this fear of forgetting everyone
Forgetting everything
Just going through the motions
Waiting for your body to give up
Days, weeks, months or years after your mind already has

It's a scary thought to know that one day you might not know anything

Knowing this should make us more aware
It should make us more kind and compassionate
It should make us treasure each and every single day
It should make us tell our friends and family that we love them every single day

And yet, we don't.

January 1, 2017

Netflix and Chill

I've been told on more than one occasion that I'm missing out on something extraordinary because I refuse to get into a relationship. Perhaps I'm taking the glass half full approach. Perhaps I'm being too cynical. Perhaps this. Perhaps that. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Some may say I'm bitter. Others may say I'm scared. However, when it really comes down to it, I'm just being a realist. So, here's to keepin' it real in 2017 ya'll.

July 25, 2016

I Tried ...

So, I tried jumping on the whole Almond Milk train because I thought, why not? And also because I hate soy milk. People say Almond Milk tastes good and they like it. And then there's the whole, if everyone drank it we wouldn't have to subject cows to such torture and then we'd cut down on the methane production and ... insert all of the other reasons why we shouldn't drink milk and have dairy farms -- I'm not even going to get into the whole meat debacle because if I could eat bacon every day without having a heart attack, I would.

Here's how it went down.

First, I smelled it. Just a hint of almond. Okay, I like almonds so clearly I can do this. Then I took the tiniest of sips and -- cue gag reflex, which after years and years of being a huge whore, I thought no longer existed, but alas, there it was. However, I'm not a quitter, so I thought I should give it a try with something, perhaps it would taste better? I poured a little on some cereal and could still taste it. It wasn't very sweet tasting and it wasn't vanilla-y, like the label claimed it would be. I put the bowl down to go and get something, I forget what, but I wasn't gone for maybe more than a minute ... and in that time, the almond paste or whatever it is separated from the water or whatever else makes up the "milk" and I'm sorry to say but it looked like someone had ejaculated all over my cereal. It had to be thrown out. I was bummed because that was the last of my Raisin Nut Bran, and also I really wanted to like it.

Eh. It is what it is. Sorry cows. I'm going to still keep looking. Any suggestions?